spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
