4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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