I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
