doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
