we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
