FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
