Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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