I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
