i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
