No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
