ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
