Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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