if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
