He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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