I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
