We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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