I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
