I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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