Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
