Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
