we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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