it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
please come you make the beer taste better
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
