Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
