sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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