I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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