i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My ass is underappreciated
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
