Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
