I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
