You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
