My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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