How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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