I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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