I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
