i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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