The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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