Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
