im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
