i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
