Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
