so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
