Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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