She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
