and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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