I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
