I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's never too late to be topless.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
