how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
