i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
