WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
