If i come over, it means nothing
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
