Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
