I only kidnapped one of them. chill
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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