someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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