So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I need a beard to bite.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
